#mood
Happy February! Was it just me, or did the first month of 2019 fly by? I can’t believe it’s already February 5. In the spirit of Valentine’s, for this month’s #mood I’m feeling all things fresh, feminine, and pastel-hued. Admittedly, I’ve never been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. Nothing against it at all, but we’ve never used it as an opportunity to buy gifts or go out to dinner (I’d rather pick a random Friday night for that). Some years Joe will come home with flowers; a few years here and there, he came home with really good quality charcuterie, a handwritten love note scrawled on the bright white butcher paper (and yes, I loved him for it).
But when considering the month ahead and what’s on tap, it makes sense that I’m feeling Valentine’s a little more this month, and have also selected this four-letter word as my February mantra:
#mantra
love.
My second sister and niece arrive from Korea tomorrow. I am at once excited, nervous, scared, elated, and completely terrified of being disappointed. I find myself mining the deepest wells of hope that this will be something. That together, we blossom, and the something which could have been might miraculously take root and grow. Maybe this month, love and connection will take on a different shape than I have known before. I have no idea how I’ll feel during and after (when I initially met this sister last summer, it was only for a dinner, and I was strung out and on emotional autopilot). So I enter into February with heart and mind cracked wide open, reminding myself to stay vulnerable to love, in all its forms—and as always, to value the love already, blessedly present in my life.
Wishing you all the love in the month ahead.
Victoria, tomorrow is my birthday! I send you all sorts of best wishes for a fulfilling visit with your sister and niece. You are doing all of the right things to be open to whatever happens, and you both are already choosing love (I am sorry that sounds so New Age-y!) by planning for the time together. Good luck!
I hope you had a great birthday last month! :)
Beautiful! Enjoy the time with your family. :)
I hope you find everything you wish for in your visit with your sister! But keep in mind that even sisters who have known each other forever (ahem, me, mine) find many of those same twisted emotions – feeling guilty for not feeling more, hungry for a connection but it feeling awkward… so even the disappointing feelings are going to be special because you are getting the chance to have them.