Alright, some real talk today. In the last couple years, while some wonderful, beautiful things have happened, life has been really good at serving up one shit sandwich after another. And over the last couple of months, things certainly haven’t gotten easier (tastier?). I’ve opted not to share too much about the turmoil happening in my personal life, just because family members have asked me to keep it on the DL, but to get the gist across, imagine all the stress of moving across the country, triple it, remove the last ounces of certainty you had in your life, then add a surprise double heaping of grief on top of it. The therapy practically pays for itself these days, and the stories for the Lifetime movie are only getting crazier.
In the midst of trying not to lose my mind, one thing that has helped immensely — even on the days when “immense” amounts to only a tiny bit — is meditating. The first time I ever practiced meditation was after I read the book Clean several years ago. Inspired by the book, I remember sitting in my bedroom, trying to clear my mind, and thinking I really, really sucked at it. I quit trying, but the idea behind it — that you could learn to acknowledge and then watch your thoughts flit in and out of your mind, but not really engage with them — was intriguing to me.
Fast forward to a couple years ago, when I took up a yoga practice. Without even realizing it, I would find myself meditating in class, and it surprised me by how spiritual it was. I began connecting with and noticing my breathing more, and specifically, how if I just slowed the eff down for a second, concentrated on my breath, and followed each inhale and exhale, the tight fist knotted in the center of my body (you know the one — it feels like it’s holding all your anxiety and worry) would slowly start to release its death grip on me.
More recently, I finished the book 10% Happier, and loved it. As I was reading the book, I made lots of highlight notations throughout. The first sentence I highlighted in the book is this: “Most of us are so entranced by the nonstop conversation we’re having with ourselves that we aren’t even aware we have a voice in our head.” How true this is. Another section I noted related to the idea of security (and its inverse, insecurity). Here’s the quote: Read the full post +