Unseen

Instagram on the blog, kinda.

At the Museum of Modern Art, in early June. My friend Meg came to town, and we spent the day wandering and catching up. I really love how this photograph turned out, because it kind of became three-dimensional without me even realizing it as I photographed!

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I have so many photos living in my phone, ready to be shared with the world, often with captions I’ve spent time thinking about, penning, editing—yet in my phone they have remained. I dunno what it is, but it feels hard to share images on Instagram these days.

Although…maybe I do know what it is. I’ve written my thoughts on this about 5 different ways, and in a nutshell, for me it boils down to three things:

Photos from a September weekend in Los Angeles. I flew down solo to visit one of my oldest college friends. After graduating in the mid-2000s, I used to fly down regularly to have girl time weekends with her. We hadn’t done this in several years, so we brought back our old tradition, and it was fab!

1 / The increasingly tender balance of feeling like one has to post things that are both beautiful, yet real and meaningful. Have you noticed this new tension in Social Media Land—where half the audience seems to crave something authentic and raw, while the other half wishes things would simply remain a pretty escape? The commentary on this post is a great example.

2 / The worry that it’s all just spam, numbing us from our family and friends and things that matter, in a way that is completely unhealthy and maybe even destructive. Sometimes I wonder, am I contributing to the culture of endless scrolling that I myself am trying so hard to avoid (with mixed results, I’ll admit)?

3 / And frankly, the sting of sharing something created from your heart, and promptly seeing 50-100 people (or more) unfollow you immediately after. Yes, the positive engagement from those same shares is wonderful and appreciated, but when the net result is people leaving the party, sharing feels like a negative experience.

I took this photo of my friend Emilee when a group of us were up in Sonoma recently. I love the way her hat shadows made it look like she has lace overlaying her face and neck. Also, isn’t she so glam?

It’s interesting to me that I never have these thoughts about posting content on my own site. What is it about Instagram that feels so much more vulnerable, less “safe” in a way? I know I’m not alone in overthinking this platform…right? I’m really curious what you think about the ‘gram these days, how we got here, and how you’re using it personally (as both a publisher and as a consumer). Are you fatigued by it like me?

One day in early September, Joe and I played hooky and went to Napa with a friend of ours who lives in the area and works in the wine industry. She introduced us to Gargiulo, which is one of the most beautiful properties I’ve ever visited. The photo on the left is actually from another Napa day trip in July, where we stopped into Bouchon for lunch.

But anyway: the photos! They all stack up in my phone and I like them and want to share them! So last week I thought, maybe I should just share them on my blog, and if one day they make it to Instagram, great. And here we are.

Some of these photos were taken as long ago as early June; some I took just this past week. All are things I had sitting in Planoly, and for one reason or another, never shared on Instagram. I kinda like that they have an original home here anyway. Blog first, Instagram (and everything else) second—it’s how it should be.

More of my photo diary:

Ok, technically I shared this picture on Stories recently. This is how Lucy looks pretty much every morning when I tell her it’s time to get out of bed. We have a routine where I either sing her a good morning song (don’t judge), or give her a little back massage to coax her out from her comfy nest. Then we go to the kitchen and make tea and she gets a little cookie. She’s the best.

 

A recent trip to Flora Grubb Gardens for some new pots and plants for our apartment; visiting our favorite beach when morning shadows were long.

 

The above photos were from Avila Beach over Labor Day weekend. I love the blue tones in the water! I sent these photos to my birth family and they told me it looks like Geoje, the island I was born (even though I visited while I was in Korea, we were fogged in, so I never got to see the coastline in the sun!).

 

Self Portrait: It was recently Chuseok, or Korean Thanksgiving, and my family asked if I’d send them a photo of myself. I snapped the one on the left when I was home alone, before leaving for a dinner. That furry bolster pillow behind me is actually Lucy (haha!). The photo on the right is my super fabulous book club (or, at least 7 out of 10 of us). We went to Sonoma a couple weekends ago (in a white limo no less, LOL). Can you believe the foliage already? My book club is the freaking BEST. We do a few different trips together each year, in addition to meeting monthly. Reading the book is never the point: it’s always about this group of women, all at different stages of life and with different shit going on, coming together to catch up and support each other. I’m lucky to be a part of it!

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7 Comments

  1. Kelsey M. wrote:

    About 2 weeks ago I deactivated my Instagram. With the new iOS you can track how much time you spend on each app and I was shocked by how much time I was spending each day browsing through IG. Also this summer I went on a trip to Banff Canada with a bunch of girlfriends. I found throughout the course of the trip everyone was much more concerned about getting the “perfect” IG shot than they were about appreciating the insanely gorgeous environment we were in. Then I read this article: https://www.mydomaine.com/how-to-quit-social-media/slide8 And I thought it was time to cut the cord. I don’t want to live my life trying to document it for others. So many times now I feel like events and trips don’t actually count until I post about them online. We feel the need for validation of likes and comments instead of just enjoying what we have while we’re in the moment. I just want to enjoy my life without needing other people’s validation and I want to stop spending so much time scrolling, so bye-bye Instagram (at leaat for now).

    4 Oct 2018 · Reply
    • Victoria wrote:

      Yes, I saw the new tracker not only within iOS, but Instagram released one specific to their app (it’s the new “Your Activity” tab)! I was surprised my use time wasn’t higher. I clocked in at barely over 1 hour per day over the last week. Maybe that’s still a lot, but in my head, it feels so much longer and like a far bigger time suck.

      I think it’s awesome you cut the cord. Do you miss it at all yet (I bet not!)? And as a sidenote, as you reduce online time, I feel really honored that you are still here reading and took the time to leave this comment, so thank you! I appreciate it a lot. :)

      4 Oct 2018 · Reply
  2. Alexia wrote:

    All your friends are so glam! I love your jeans in that last picture—where are they from?

    I had a friend completely stop using social media… I am honestly tempted by it, but I love sending things back and forth with my best friend. It’s a hard balance.

    5 Oct 2018 · Reply
    • Victoria wrote:

      Thank you! They are from Madewell. They’re the 10″ high rise skinnies in the “Danny” wash. I’ve bought four pairs of jeans from Madewell over the last year and they’re all amazing!

      8 Oct 2018 · Reply
  3. Maggie wrote:

    Love this post!

    7 Oct 2018 · Reply
  4. Nicole wrote:

    As for someone who’s entire job is to be on social media day in and day out, I’m completely burned out by it the time I get home. Problem is that in order to grow my business, I feel as if I have to stay active on IG but the lack of growth and engagement on my post makes it really discouraging. I’m not sure what the solution is. Some days I just want to run away and live on a olive vineyard with no wifi..haha

    Regardless, it will be interesting to see how social media changes in the upcoming years to come. I feel like we are starting to see the negative impact it has on our lives yet people are addicted to the instant ego boost.

    16 Oct 2018 · Reply
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