Real Life: In Pursuit of the Not-Boring

someday isn't one of them

“I think I’ve become boring.”

That’s the thought I kept having, and one I confessed to Joe very recently, in the midst of another stressed, crazed week. And that was just the culprit — my work, in some ways had overtaken my life, and when I added in time for errands, time with the husband, time with the dog, and time with friends, there was no time for me.

I had been reading a book — not a work one, just a fun, easy read for me — and while I was enjoying it, I realized that I felt guilty about spending time alone, doing nothing but reading. And on a WEEKEND! In my head, there were so many other things I could be doing, things I could be crossing off a list.

And that feeling deeply bothered me. So then I explored the feeling a little more and tried to think about all the things I’d done for myself recently — things that were enriching and inspiring (read: not online shopping). The list was pretty dismal, y’all. I can’t tell you the last time I had a real, proper workout. Or explored that new shop down the block because I wanted to. Or pursued all of those hobbies I’ve put on a “someday” list and have never actually looked into.

Conclusion: I think I’ve become boring.

How did this happen? I used to be a lot more adventurous and fill my life with all kinds of hobbies and pursuits. I volunteered. I took dance classes because I danced growing up, and I loved it (and missed it). I studied languages because I love learning them. Where did all the personal, me-time fun go?

I’ll tell you where it went. 

Work. I love being an entrepreneur, but I’ve learned that if you don’t set hard, fast boundaries, the work overtakes your life. Because the reality is, there’s ALWAYS something more you could be working on. And then the ‘could be’ becomes a ‘should be’ and before you know it, your life is a boring mix of wake up, take care of dog, work for 10-12 hours, make dinner, eat, watch reality TV, pass out, rinse and repeat. I would look at my Instagram feed some days, and in between feeling pressure to share photos of my life (which is also not a cool feeling), I’d simultaneously feel like I had nothing interesting to share…because it’s been pretty much the same day in and day out.

the last straw by leslie david

So in the past several weeks, I’ve been on a mission to stop feeling like I’m boring. The biggest part of this is making more time in my life for things I want to do. And that’s a capital I, bolded, underlined, italicized, and flashing. I think I’ve been so bad about knowing when to put myself first, and it’s really contributed to the boring.

The biggest thing I’ve done is sign up for a 10-week French class! It’s long been a goal of mine to become fluent — or, at least very, very proficient — in the language. I started teaching myself several years ago and picked up on it quickly, but while I can now write and read some basic French, I am terrible at speaking it because I never had anyone to practice with. So I signed up for a class. It starts in October, runs through the end of the year, and I’m really excited about it.

Next on my list: I want to learn to play tennis. Joe plays, and I really love the sport. I’ve been talking about taking lessons for years, but it’s just one of those things I’ve put on a ‘maybe’ list. So now I’m ready to put it on the ‘must’ list, and I’m actively seeking ways to do so — though unfortunately, with winter around the corner, this one might have to wait for a little bit.

There are two interesting things that happen when you actively try to make more time in your life for yourself. One, you have to take a good hard look at where you’re currently spending your time, and re-assess, so that you can free up more time for YOU. For me this meant:

+ going down to posting only once per day (I was killing myself with two posts, and I don’t think anyone has cared or maybe even noticed).

+ putting the kibosh on being attached to social media 24/7. I totally realize how necessary social media can be for a “blog business,” but honestly, I just can’t Instagram and tweet every second of my life, and frankly, I dislike being out socially with people who do. Plus, it drives Joe insane anyway.

+ Stopping work at around the same time every day. For me, this has been at 6:30.

+ Learning to say no to things I don’t really want to do, but feel obligated to do for some unknown, made up, probably ludicrous reason.

lifestyle design

The second interesting — and very positive — thing that happens when you create more time for yourself is that you end being more inspired anyway. You have time to read a magazine. To go exploring. To let your mind wander and generate new, creative ideas. And, to be honest, you just feel better. Making more time for myself has meant I generally take better care of myself (lagging workouts not withstanding), and feel more rested and energized. It’s really a win-win.

I wanted to share all this with you because I suspect I’m not alone in not putting myself first — in not taking time to do fun things that are just for me. I’ve signed up for French, and today I wanted to ask you: what’s one thing you’ve been wanting to do, just for yourself and your own creative enrichment, but for whatever reason, you haven’t? And of course, the follow up: what can you do to make it happen?

I’ll probably be sharing little bits of my adventures in French learning, so if you start to pursue the not-boring, please let me know and share in the comments! We can go on the journey to not-boring together.

{Image Credits: Frassy, with graphics added by me; Estelle Hanania and Corinne Stoll for Leslie David, via Rashi Birla; Jess Lively}

PS: In a somewhat business-related post, today I’m over on The B Bar’s new blog, The Well, talking about trends I’m noticing in blogging and how I think they’ll play out in the future. One of them is very closely related to my post here today! Definitely check out The Well — Meg and I will regularly be serving up posts all about blogging and the industry, so if you enjoy my blog tips and Talking Shop posts here on vmac, I think you’ll really enjoy The Well.

71 Comments

  1. 9.4.13

    I love, love LOVE this – and feel the same way. You and Joe should go up to Total Tennis for a weekend – it’s a perfect way to immerse yourself into the sport, and you can always hit balls with me!

    One thing i’m going to start doing for myself – get back into Indian classical dancing. I was GOOD at it, and it made me so happy. It also kept me in incredible shape. I’m going to start once I get back from India later this month…

    • 9.4.13
      Usha said:

      Hitha – do it! You know I want you at class! I’ve been trying to convince you forever!

      • 9.10.13

        I finally signed up! Will be there on the 20th :)

  2. 9.4.13

    Always choose real life over internet life. Good for you, Victoria. PS: I didn’t notice you cut down posting, but I highly endorse the action if it allows you more time for other activities!!

  3. 9.4.13
    Verity said:

    I have just signed up for a language class, Polish for me. My boyfriend is Polish and his family cannot speak English, so for me this is not just about enjoying learning for learning’s sake, which of course I do, but also to enrich my family experience whenever we visit together. I love language learning, I already speak French and Spanish, and can whole heatedly say that being able to converse and read in another language inspires you in so many ways! Good luck to you :)

  4. 9.4.13

    Oh, let’s set up Skype dates to practice your French when you start!! I’ve totally been feeling the same way – my days are soooo similar! (minus the feed the dog part).

    I actually took up tennis this summer and I L.O.V.E. it. I’m pretty terrible at it though so I plan on taking lessons this winter (we have a few interior courts here – I’m sure NYC does too!) I started reading books again this summer (which feels amazing) – and now, I’d like to make time for pilates and golf!

  5. 9.4.13
    Bekah said:

    Victoria, thank you for this. This year has been eye-opening for me as far as self-care in the midst of work and marriage – how to balance it all, what to pursue – and although I have no clear answers yet, there are little things that I’m starting to change. Working out is my biggest one, especially since I sit to work all day. I’ve been adding in (rare) moments to sit and read for pleasure. And funny you mentioned French, because that’s been on my list forever. That will be next, with either online lessons or just one night a week with my textbook.
    Cheers to the un-boring life! Your priorities are where they should be.

  6. 9.4.13

    You always read my mind! Putting yourself first is so incredibly important and makes you the best you can be around the people and things that matter the most. Your French class sounds very exciting and I looking forward to hearing more about it!

    I’m not posting this week for many of the same reasons. It might even flow into next week depending on how I feel. I came home from work last night and FINALLY read J.Law’s article in Vogue- that I’ve had for 2 weeks. No computer. No iPad. Awesome feeling.

  7. 9.4.13
    Ana said:

    I found it refreshing to read such an honest post. Thanks for sharing! I’ve been thinking about taking tennis or dance lessons again since I really enjoyed both of those in the past.

  8. 9.4.13
    Christine said:

    Did we talk before you wrote this post? Because this is very much how I have been feeling as of late (ask anyone who I’ve seen lately and my response to “what’s new” has been, “not much, I’m pretty boring.”)

    And while I’m totally fine with that, one of my big goals for taking time for myself (ie. quitting le blog) was to do more things for myself — like TAKE FRENCH CLASSES.

    You should have told me, we could have done them together — because I have the same no-one-to-practice-with issue.

    All of that to say… I hear you girl! :)

    • 9.4.13
      Victoria McGinley said:

      I tweeted you! Let’s do it, they still have spaces!

  9. 9.4.13

    I couldn’t agree more. I feel like I have recently been in this 28 year old rut. Maybe it’s from having two puppies, a full time job and constant chores to do.

    Revamping my blog was first on my “feel better” list…next is taking up an art class and yoga! We will see how that goes :)

  10. 9.4.13
    Lauren said:

    Such a great post. So glad you’re focusing more on yourself. In the end, you, Joe and your pup are the most important things and you need to invest in that part of your life first and foremost.

  11. 9.4.13

    Fantastic! I can totally relate to your feelings – particularly the “What do I Instagram when my days are all the same” feeling. Whenever I make time for myself, I always come back to my work feeling refreshed and inspired. And on top of that, I feel like my relationships are deeper and more interesting. All of that contributes to greater happiness! I’m excited to hear about how your new endeavors change your life.

  12. 9.4.13
    Ashley said:

    I can really empathize with this post. For the past year, I’ve been pursuing my CPA and working at a public accounting firm, where hours are long, and ‘busy season’ stretches on for months. Between working 10-12 hour days, and studying late nights and on the weekends, sometimes it feels like there’s nothing left over for me. I am *almost* finished with the test (hooray!!!) and when I am, will probably be leaving the public accounting world for something more my speed (read: work/life balance).

    Anyway, the point of commenting is to tell you that most mornings, when I get to the office, I give myself some “me-time” by reading my favorite blogs with a cup of coffee. And it always starts with vmac+cheese! I love your content and really admire what you’ve built for yourself! The virtual-you is far from boring.

    Thanks for being my me-time!

    • 9.4.13
      Victoria McGinley said:

      I feel you on the CPA — I’ve had a good friend go through it and know it was a ridiculous experience! Thank you so much for the kind words too…I’m beyond honored and flattered!

  13. 9.4.13

    Amen to all the above! Cheers to you for recognizing you’re in a funk and taking action to get out of it. I have a feeling I’m not the only person who could learn from your example :)

    Where are you taking French classes? I majored in college and would love to brush up :)

    xoxo
    Mackenzie

    • 9.4.13
      Victoria McGinley said:

      I signed up at Fluent City! They have a location near Times Square and also in Williamsburg. The classes were pretty affordable all things considered and had great Yelp reviews! Lots of levels, so you could definitely find something to help you dive right back in :)

  14. 9.4.13

    This is suchhhhh a poignant post, I fall victim to these feelings all the time, between all the different commitments and the cutthroat pace it can get very easy to become routine and robotic about everything — a wonderful reminder to work harder at avoiding that!

  15. 9.4.13
    Meghan said:

    It’s so funny that you posted this today–I literally had a nearly word-for-word conversation about this yesterday. Personally as a blog reader I’d rather read a post like this once a week than see two posts a day if someone’s heart really isn’t in it. Love this!

    If you’re looking to practice some French, try Meetup.com. It has allllll sorts of different groups you can join all based on similar interests, and I’ve gone to some really fun Spanish-language groups. I don’t work for Meetup or anything–I’ve just found it a good forum to help me break out of ruts ;)

  16. 9.4.13
    Ellie said:

    So funny you posted this today! I just shared my new 101 in 1001 list on my blog.

    Recently, I took a 2 hour semi private sewing class so that I could finally finish making the euro shams for my bed. And halfway through I realized how much I enjoyed not only being creative and learning something new, but that dedicated time to unplug. Growing up I always took art or dance or had after school activities and there were no distractions, just focus on the task at hand. And I want more of that in my life.

    Kudos to you for signing up for the French class!

  17. 9.4.13

    Ah, ma cherie! Tres Bien for doing you! I did french in high school and was so thrilled to actually use it when I visited Paris a few years ago. As business owners I think most of us can relate to the grind you speak of. I think we all need to chill out a bit and realize the only person who applies much of the insane pressure we feel to always be perfect and connected ALL DAY LONG is us.
    For me, I’ve committed to blogging less (I’d rather do two meaningful posts a week than 5 frivolous ones) because truthfully, no one really cares. Like you, I’ve committed to staying less connected, to shutting off the phone by 7 and to savoring every moment with my son who is almost 2 years old and growing way too fast. Also trying to read at least one book a month! Pray for us all as we try to live life in the normal lane again.

  18. 9.4.13

    Wow. I feel like I am reading my own thoughts. I can 100% relate. It’s great to hear that you are taking the bull by the horns and doing something for yourself! I need to get on the “ME” train. Kudos!

    xo, Lindsey
    http://www.caviartaste.com

  19. 9.4.13

    The most refreshing post to read this morning. I think we can all relate to this feeling!

  20. 9.4.13
    Mary said:

    Boring? Far from it, Victoria! You are consistently engaging and I always leave your site feeling inspired. That said, good for you for acknowledging that you’re human and badly in need of some balance.

    Whenever my life starts to feel like a scene out of Groundhog Day (forgive the ancient reference) I force myself, when I can, to regroup and recharge. I find I do better work that way.

    I think you might really enjoy the book, The Power of Full Engagement. It looks at the relationship between high performance and personal renewal and how critical the later is in every aspect of our lives. Judging by today’s post, though, I think you already get that :)

    Have a wonderful day!

  21. 9.4.13
    Sam said:

    Major kudos to you for not only having this realization, but being brave enough to write about it! I think one of the things a lot of people struggle with (myself included) is this culture of comparison that we live in. Other bloggers post every day or twice a day, so that means you HAVE TO. Other bloggers are going to tons of events and doing all of these campaigns, so if you don’t do those things, you must be lame and boring…etc etc.

    It’s difficult to step away from that, but we have to put ourselves first. I took a course on self-love a couple of years ago and one of the most important takeaways was that we have to make time for ourselves every day. Even if it’s just an hour of crappy TV or a little time with a good book and a cup of tea, the long term effects will be major. Can’t wait to hear more about your new adventurers! xo

  22. 9.4.13
    Becca said:

    Thank you for sharing this, Victoria. It is tru;y inspiring and real; a great reminder for sure. I can’t wait to hear how French lessons go! xo

  23. 9.4.13

    Bookmarking this so I can give it a more thorough read later, but I am definitely in the same boat as you! Work is addicting — setting boundaries is a must, but hasn’t quite happened with me. It’s hard when you have the ambition, but not necessarily the time.

    Thanks for sharing!

    xo, Lily on Fillmore

  24. 9.4.13
    Jasmin said:

    Congrats on 1) the realization & 2) actively making changes! I had noticed the decrease in posting and wondered if something was wrong – very happy to hear it’s for a great reason! Best wishes!

  25. 9.4.13
    chelsie said:

    that’s so awesome that you signed up for french lessons! i’m having the same feelings, lately. i feel like the most adventurous thing i’ve done is having too much wine at girls night last week!

    i think i need to get out of town with the fiance and have some full-on-fun to get my groove back.

    xx

  26. 9.4.13

    so well written – this is my story, too! i love that you’ve put it out there! it’s gotten to the point that i feel like i’m being lazy if i’m not being productive – such a joy suck and i’m so not into it. it helps to know i’m not alone, so THANK YOU for posting this. i’ve bookmarked to re-read on rough days. thanks, v! and i did notice you don’t post twice a day anymore……. because that’s how much i love the blog. but seriously, how do you even do once a day?! you’re a machine. xo

  27. 9.4.13

    I recently felt like this as well. I’m juggling a lot of new balls — new city, new career path (freelance), new puppy, etc. — and at the end of each day, I realize I’m way too tired to do anything for myself. I’m trying to break out of that funk and do something totally out of routine, like signing up for another half marathon! I think anything that shakes up your system is good for your soul. Good luck with the French lessons! (I took Farsi lessons at ABC Language in NYC and it was so much fun to be in a class setting again after working 10-6 in an office!)

  28. 9.4.13

    This is great timing & I’m sure I’m going to keep coming back to this post! With a two week old I am definitely boring but it’s ok b/c I’m obsessed with her & know its all about her now. But I can see me struggling with the “boring” thing in the future when I go back to work. I won’t be able to do big things like take a class but maybe do something a little more stimulating than watching the Housewives for 30 mins!

  29. 9.4.13

    Funny you should ask..I’ve been meaning to finally get my Personal Training certification. I’m thisclose! What I finally did was set a deadline for the test, and a minimum amount of time I needed to read/study daily (10 minutes nothing earth shattering). I’m doing this for myself, and it’s something I really enjoy but I have a super hard time with stepping away and actually allowing myself the time FOR myself.

  30. 9.4.13

    This post really hit the nail on the head for me! Being so connected to what other people are doing all the time has definitely made me feel like my life is not exciting enough… which is crazy! However, I have also made a list of things I want to do just for me too: read a book a month, take a cooking class, and train for/run my first race. Thanks for posting this!

  31. 9.4.13

    I am absolutley loving this post and the comments. I can’t believe how much we are on the same wavelength! I was at home this past weekend, sitting on the couch, doing blog things when I realized that I haven’t had time to let myself breathe, to let myself be creative and not be worried about all the “to do’s”. Gah, thank you for such an honest post!!

  32. 9.4.13

    Victoria, this is a great post and I can attest that I am one of those that has let years of my business over take my life and when I look back now, I have very little friends and no hobbies. I am changing that and I can’t believe I let it creep in. It took years to happen and it was subtle but it did happen. Thanks for the reminder to look at my life.

  33. 9.4.13

    I agree! I have totally been feeling boring! I think we should all challenge ourselves to try one new thing each month. That is completely do-able and it will help us make friends too, I know I am also looking for those. :) I really want to try Stand-Up Paddle-Boarding, so I might make that my goal this month. :)

  34. 9.4.13

    I’m glad you’re taking time to do something for you! Everyone needs to just take a step back and breathe. I’m glad you realized that you needed to do that before you were totally burnt out! I’d be so sad if I read you saying “guys, this means I need to stop with the blog for xx amount of time”!

  35. 9.4.13
    Alecia said:

    this was spot on. Needed this.

    xx Alecia

  36. 9.4.13
    Andrea said:

    Victoria, this post was amazing! I love that you registered for French classes. For me, I actually stopped writing over one year ago because I’d moved somewhere new and was spending all of my free time exploring & working.

    I’ve started writing (blogging) again and it has been so invigorating. I love writing and having the creative outlet has brought so much joy to my life! I think it’s important that we do have a hobby and that we recognize that hobbies don’t mean we are cheating on our careers. It all equates to good life balance in the end.

    Loved the candid post. Good luck with French class!

  37. 9.4.13
    Miss So Bored said:

    This post is really inspiring, especially to know there are so many people who are bored with their day to day life. Mine is a little different in the sense that I’m bored in my career. It isn’t a good fit and I have been DESPERATELY trying to uncover my passion and purpose and how to turn it into a career. I know I could flourish in a more creative field but its so discouraging when you’re 30 and not sure what it is you want to do or if you want to take the risk. Is it even worth it? I wanted to see what some of you do to get inspired and what advice could you share to help me uncover my passion which ultimately can lead me to a life of unboredom lol? I’m trying new things that will inspire me but I wanted to know everyone else’s thoughts too.

    • 9.5.13

      I saw your comment and definitely know how you feel. It’s easy to think that you should have it figured out by now, but it’s ok if you don’t. 30 is still so young! Many people it takes ages to figure out what makes you passionate! Don’t give up – the right thing will come at the right time! Just keep trying :)

  38. 9.4.13

    Since it’s been so hot in LA, I’ve embraced vegging out and even the occasional cat nap! My fav thing to do these days is listen to music in bed. I used to do it as a kid (remember the radio?) and don’t know why I ever stopped.

  39. 9.4.13
    Megan said:

    While I can’t say that I felt boring, I adopted a new philosophy that just involved saying ‘yes’ to almost anything this summer. If someone invites you somewhere and you think ‘hmm, not really my scene, nothing something I’m interested in, I’m tired or busy…’ ignore all that and just say ‘yes’. As a result, my social circle has expanded to include some amazing new people. I’ve been and tried amazing new things and it just seems to spiral from there. Be the ‘yes’ person is my new view. I also started rowing and love, love love it.

  40. 9.4.13

    Love love love this post Victoria, and totally feel you! I feel like now that I am in my 30s, I am so consumed with work that I don’t have the same joie de vivre that I once used to, where I wanted to learn something new every day…I love that you are taking French lessons – I too have had that on my to-do list for awhile now – I actually took a French class in the evenings a few years ago but don’t remember anything. Since my fiance and I decided to get married in France, I figure I need to brush up on my (non-existent) French! :) Please do update all of us on your progress! Bonne chance!

  41. 9.4.13
    Jessika said:

    Hello!

    This was an amazing blog post and one that hit home for me. I totally understand what you’re saying! I was spending so much time worrying about the design of my blog (darn my creative brain that never shuts off!) and being on it but realistically I was driving myself crazy! I decided to only post Mon – Fri and save Saturdays and Sundays to my family + boyfriend. By doing me time and us time, it gives me so much more energy and insight to the world that i’ve been missing out on! I have so much more fun not worrying about my hobby. I’ve also started a list of things to do called “22 things to do while 22” which were things I want to do before turning 23. I’ve already done one thing off my list and it felt so amazing to experience something new in my community. I’m a worry wort and I only do things that’s in my comfort zone so this, this is good for me and I’m so glad to be stepping out of my comfort zone! Good luck to you and your many endeavors in terms of “me time!”

    xo Jessika

  42. 9.5.13
    Courtney said:

    Thank you so much for posting this! I have been feeling the exact same way about my life. I just moved a new city and promised myself that this would mean a fresh start, a chance to do the things on my “bucket list” including learn Hindi, take golf lessons, and work on some business development plans. But I feel like my work has taken over and I wake up, go to a 6am fitness class, go to work, come home, eat dinner, work some more, crash, rinse, repeat. It’s nice to know I am not the only one and you have motivated me to get moving on the hobbies on my “to do” list.

  43. 9.5.13

    Thanks so much for sharing Victoria… and everyone else too. I think you’re far from being boring (you’re one of the most inspiring internet friends I know), and I don’t consider myself to be boring either. But I do on occasion experience the same sort of rut. I feel like the biggest loser on the planet sometimes since I don’t have many friends and my social calendar is pretty blank. No fun blogger meet ups, parties, or premiers or collaborations for this girl very often (which you American bloggers seem to always enjoy). My social life hardly ever seems instagram worthy, and my blog gets neglected rather often because I just don’t think I have anything exciting to share. But I try not to stress too much about this, because I really do enjoy my me time. Usually I have the opposite problem and think I give myself too much me time, and stress about not working enough. I have no problem turning off my computer around 7pm every evening to cook, read, watch tv series with the bf, or treating myself to short vacations here and there through out the year.

    Big on my to-do list is just getting out of the house where I spend a ridiculous amount of my time. There are so many places I have yet to discover in gorgeous Stockholm or that I haven’t visited in a while. I think some long weekly city walks with the boyfriend are in order. Good luck with the French!

  44. 9.5.13

    Thank you so much for sharing this Victoria! It’s refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who feels guilty about what I”m doing with my time.

    My husband and I are coming up on our 2 year anniversary. When we started dating in college, I always had ‘me’ time. I had no trouble letting go of him and doing what I wanted to have a fulfilled life. Now he’s not so busy so I feel guilty about leaving him alone. Plus my to-do list is so long it feels like I can never get a break!

    I could be so much happier if I reallocated my time and let go of my guilt. I’m definitely going to work on feeling less guilty and scheduling my life around what I need and what I want. And there will be plenty of room for him too.

    Thanks again!

  45. 9.5.13
    Emma said:

    Reading this post and all the comments shows that you definitely are not alone in this one. I completely agree. After returning home from a vacation where we spent time doing interesting things, really talking and enjoying the company of others and then coming home and walking straight back into the same old routine, I am completely freaked-out by the boring-ness (is that a word?) that is my daily life. Time to start thinking about something new to add in. Thanks for reminder!

  46. 9.5.13
    Susan said:

    I totally get this Victoria! I actually just started a new job so I’m still trying to find my rhythm with this new schedule! Last night (before I read this!) I decided to sign up for a 15K, which will be the longest race I’ve participated in. I have always wanted to do one and haven’t had the time, or feel like I lack confidence, but I’m just going for it this time! I feel you on the tennis too, I used to be one of those kids who would hit tennis balls against my garage and the paint would chip off (I loved the game that much!). I need to get back into it again!

  47. 9.5.13
    janel said:

    this is amazing. thank you SO much for sharing this, as i am sure the majority of your readers relate. i’m book-marking this post for later inspiration. I’ve also always wanted to learn to play tennis, and I really want to run some 5 or 10 k’s in the near future. I also live in NYC, so if you could share any new resources you find in the city, that’d be wonderful!

  48. 9.5.13
    Rose said:

    This is something I struggle with on a daily basis-THANK YOU for voicing it!! I feel like it comes with living in NYC; there is so much to do and see at any given moment that you feel guilty for just wanting to stay in-and heaven forbid you stay in two days/nights in a row! When I do have a day without plans or a night that ends early, I feel anxious and as though I should be making more plans with people. On the flip side, I fell ill at the beginning of summer for several months and barely did much outside work and sleep, so now I’m dealing with re-building my social life, but in an appropriate way that doesn’t have me overbooked yet works enough that I don’t feel anxious about “not participating”.

    Weirdly enough, too, it can feel like there are so many choices that you choose not to do any of them other than your usual routine! There are a lot of places in NYC I haven’t been that I should have for someone who’s lived here 2 years. That’s my 2 cents-thanks again for sharing!

    Rose
    Blonde in this City

  49. 9.5.13
    Alexa said:

    A great post Victoria. I have been trying to put my phone down. That is my goal for the rest of the year…and hopefully always. I feel like I”m so addicted to it and it’s really terrible, because people who are constantly texting/instagraming etc really annoy me too! My “me” time is pretty much non-existent with an infant and toddler and going back to work next month, but I say, if you have the opportunity, make room for it! :)

  50. 9.6.13
    Emma said:

    I LOVE this post.

    I have definitely felt the same way recently, and decided I needed to push myself (exactly why I set up my blog).

    Really inspiring to get me back up and getting out!

    Hmm maybe…

  51. 9.7.13

    Wonderful post and a great reminder to do the things you enjoy!

  52. 9.8.13
    Tia said:

    I LOVE this post for so many reasons! Although I just started college, I am already learning to not feel guilty about spending some down time alone and learning to do things I want to do instead of what others expect or want to pressure me into. I think actively working on ourselves is so important for our spirit and peace of mind!
    xo Tia

  53. 9.9.13

    I love this post. Today I felt guilty to day for spending $80 on clothes for myself, yet I don’t think twice about spending hundreds (okay thousands) of dollars on the apartment. In my mind, having the apartment editorial ready will ultimately help my business, but I don’t even feel like I’m not worthy of looking my best. Can’t wait to check out The Well, I know you have worked hard on it.

  54. 9.9.13

    Thanks for writing this, and it was perfect timing for me to read it today. I’m in a similar position, blogging full time and while I love what I do, I don’t have time for anything apart from work. You’ve inspired me to step away and not feel guilty about it. Thank you xx

  55. 9.10.13
    Laura said:

    Check out Vanderbilt Tennis Club, they offer indoor tennis lesson options!

    • 9.10.13
      Victoria McGinley said:

      Thanks, Laura!

  56. 9.12.13

    Bravo, V! So well written. While I would never change being a full time blogger/entrepreneur, I totally get what you are saying about “me time”. I work on this daily and have found, like you, reading has been a pleasure. I am starting to realize it shouldn’t be a guilty one. I studied in Paris so I am thrilled you are taking French. Maybe one day when we finally meet in person… hopefully with our mutual friend Lisa (Elembee), we can order a glass of wine in French :) Cheers!

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